


In The Rain

by ChirpBird



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Gen, Hurt Edward Elric, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Sick Roy Mustang, Slight Parental Roy Mustang
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:21:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24591469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChirpBird/pseuds/ChirpBird
Summary: "Colonel, you know you don't have to pretend you're fine all the time, right?"Mustang sighed. "Neither do you, Fullmetal. Neither do you."Or, the one in which Ed and Mustang are sick and injured, stranded in a town with no food, minimal medical supplies, and lots of rain.
Relationships: Edward Elric & Roy Mustang
Comments: 11
Kudos: 83





	1. In Which Things Go Wrong

The Smoke Alchemist laughed. “Oh? Is that what you think? I’m helpless? Without backup?” A fresh peal of laughter ensued. Ed maintained his relaxed demeanor, frowning internally. The criminal’s words had made him uneasy. Perhaps he did have backup. Or a secret weapon of sorts. Ed quickly scanned the warehouse for possible exits. There was none, but the one Mustang was standing in front of. The criminal either had to be bluffing or this was a trap. Ed’s eyes widened. They had to get out now. 

“Colonel!” Ed shouted, just as the criminals revealed themselves. A ring of large, brawny, armed criminals. 

“Who’s helpless now?” laughed the alchemist. Mustang just smirked and snapped his fingers. A ring of raging flames surrounded them, cooking the criminals alive. Unholy screams emanated from inside the heat of the fire. Deciding that the criminals were taken care of, he turned back to face Smoke, only to find that he had disappeared. As the flames vanished, Ed’s apprehension grew. He surveyed the warehouse for movement, only to find the door swinging on its hinge.

“ _Goddammit._ Colonel! The door—he’s escaped,” Ed warned. Mustang nodded in confirmation. The duo walked out the door. 

“He couldn’t have gone far,” Mustang noted, “He has to be in the village.” Ed made a noise of agreement. “Let’s split up. We can cover more ground that way.” Ed frowned.

“I don’t think so, Colonel,” Ed gestured towards the dark clouds in the sky. “You’re sticking with me. Hawkeye will kill me if I let you die. It’s about to rain. You’ll be _useless._ ” Ed smirked as he saw the colonel's cheeks color slightly.

“USELESS? WHO ARE YOU CALLING USELESS, YOU SHRIMP?” Mustang exploded.

“YOU, COLONEL BASTARD! AND WHO ARE _YOU_ CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE’LL DROWN IN A DROP OF RAINWATER?” Ed screamed. A beat. “Anyways Colonel Bastard, you’re sticking with me and that’s final. Plus, he probably wants us to split up.” Mustang sighed, then nodded, looking as if it pained him to do so.

They crept through the town, scrutinizing buildings and alleyways for signs of movement. It started to lightly drizzle. “Told you it was going to rain,” Ed smirked. Mustang glared. Just as he was about to say something about Ed being short, Ed cut him off. “There’s someone over there!” Mustang whirled around. There was the Smoke Alchemist, standing in the alley, grinning wildly.

“Hands up,” Mustang declared, hand prepared to snap. Smoke’s grin widened further. He made a small motion with his hands, and a veil of smoke surrounded the two state alchemists. Their vision was clouded. Mustang coughed as he inhaled the thick smoke. He staggered around, trying to find his way out.

“Colonel?” Ed screamed.

“Over here!” Mustang coughed out. He felt a large arm cover his face. 

“Not so fast, Flame.” Mustang felt his lungs starting to burn as the smoke alchemist cut off his air supply. He struggled weakly in the choke-hold, as he felt his life force slowly drip away. Darkness colored the edges of his vision, although that might have just been the smoke. Just as his head started to droop, he heard a loud clang and felt himself being dropped onto the ground.

“Colonel! Colonel, ANSWER ME!” Ed yelled as he dropped to a knee by the colonel. All he got in response was a weak cough. Ed sighed in relief. The colonel was alive, for now. His relief was short lived however, as he heard the smoke alchemist start to get up. He couldn’t just stay down, could he? 

Putting his hands together, he quickly transmuted spikes that raced towards the criminal alchemist. The alchemist dodged and pulled out a gun. Ed’s eyes widened. I didn’t know he was armed. He heard a shot, and tried to dodge, feeling it strike just below his knee. Clenching his teeth in agony, he became distantly aware of the colonel getting up. Ed looked up to see the colonel standing in front of him, fingers poised to snap.

The smoke alchemist laughed, “It’s raining, Flame. You can’t do any-” He was cut off by four tall walls being transmuted around him. 

“Gotcha.” Ed smirked. Smoke was too cocky, sure of his win. That was his mistake. The colonel stepped forward, swaying ever so slightly.

“Smoke alchemist, you are under arrest.” Mustang declared calmly, then promptly collapsed. Ed’s eyes widened. He and the colonel were obviously in no state to be arresting Smoke. Contrary to what others thought of him, he knew when to cut his losses. He quickly transmuted a fifth wall on top of the confinement Smoke was in, then tried to bandage his leg with his cloak. After the fifth attempt, he finally had a semi-decent bandaged leg. Transmuting a sort of crutch out of the building next to him, he hobbled over to the colonel.

The colonel’s eyes were closed, his cheeks slightly flushed. Ed knelt next to him, checking vital signs. The colonel was alive, no doubt, but he was burning up. Ed sighed. Of course, the bastard colonel would come on a mission even when he was ill. Deciding that Smoke could chill in his earth prison for a little while longer, Ed scanned the area for a shelter. He needed to properly bandage his leg and wait for the colonel to wake up. Deciding to just go to the building next door, he grabbed the colonel and attempted to lift him. To his surprise, the colonel was quite light and easy to drag. 

Once they were out of the rain, Ed focused his attention onto the current situation. He had no way of contacting anybody at the moment, so that was out of the question. He had no food, or water. He did have some medical supplies. The next city was an hour long train ride away, so he would have to make do with what he had until they could move.  
Mustang moaned as he came to. Someone was hammering away at the inside of his head, and whoever it was, was about to become toast. Burnt toast. He vaguely heard someone ask how he was feeling and moaned in response. Because, by God, that really was the only accurate way to answer the question.

“How are you feeling?” Ed questioned, mild concern on his face. A moan was his only response. Ed smiled. “Like crap, then?” He brushed his hand over the colonel’s forehead, frowning at the heat. The colonel definitely needed medical attention.

Ed sat back down and continued to bandage his leg. The bullet had gone clean through his leg, not hitting any major arteries, but he couldn’t put much weight on it, which meant that he couldn’t go search for supplies or try to contact base yet. Plus, he didn’t want to leave Mustang here by himself. The idiot colonel’s fever was dangerously high. 

For what seemed to be the hundredth time in the past hour, Ed wondered what he had done in some past life to deserve this. It had to be something awful, right? How else would he get stuck in an abandoned ghost town, with no way to contact anyone, injured, and with a commanding officer that was currently in no shape to command anything. Yup, Ed concluded with a nod. He probably did something terrible.

Pushing himself up, Ed wrung out the cloth resting on the colonel’s forehead and dipped it in the basin of rainwater he’d collected. Mustang moaned at the absence of the cold compress, settling down when Ed quickly replaced it. Ed sighed. He could already feel himself start to doze. It was going to be a long night.

There was a crash. Ed started awake, already starting to transmute his automail into its signature blade. He rolled his eyes when he realized that Mustang had merely fallen off the bed. Slowly hobbling over, Ed knelt by the colonel, gently touching his shoulder. The colonel reacted violently. Even in his fever-induced daze, his military survival instincts prevailed. They would probably save his life one day, and, most likely, already had, but that didn’t mean Ed was happy about the punch to his jaw. 

“Colonel. Colonel, it’s me.” Ed spoke softly, trying not to startle the colonel. The colonel blinked blearily. 

“Wh-What? Where am I?” Mustang mumbled. Ed sighed.

“What do you remember?”

“Nothing after we found Smoke,” Mustang’s brows were furrowed in thought. “What happened?”

“You collapsed.” Ed pushed himself up with his crutch. “Why didn’t you say you were sick, idiot?”

“It wasn’t important.” Mustang waved a hand dismissively. And it was here that Edward exploded.

“HOW THE HELL CAN YOU SAY THAT IT WASN’T IMPORTANT? HOW THE HELL CAN YOU PUT THIS ENTIRE MISSION IN DANGER, YOUR OWN LIFE IN DANGER AND SAY THAT IT WASN’T IMPORTANT?” The volume dropped to a whisper. “Goddammit, _I_ was worried about you. That’s how serious it is.” 

Mustang’s eyes were wide. He chuckled weakly. “This is a change, isn’t it?” At Ed’s confused frown, he continued. “Usually, I’m the one yelling at you.”

Ed shot him an unamused look. Mustang raised his hands in defeat. “Fine, fine. I’m sorry.” Ed rolled his eyes but nodded.

“Okay. Let’s get you back in bed.” Ed offered a hand to Mustang.

Mustang ignored it, sitting up on his own. Ed kept his hand where it was. It was obvious that the colonel needed it. Thee idiotic bastard was just too proud to accept help. In that way, Ed supposed, Mustang was a lot like him. _Wait what? Where did that thought come from? I can ask for help! And the bastard colonel is_ not _like me._ Shaking off these thoughts (surely, they were a sign of insanity), he turned his attention back to the colonel, who appeared to be fighting a wave of nausea. 

“Deep breaths, colonel. Deep breaths.” Ed didn’t know why he was being nice to the colonel. Mustang was a bastard. Always after his stupid reports. But, and Ed hated to admit this, the colonel also looked out for him. He tried to keep Ed safe. Mustang gave him any leads on the search for a philosopher’s stone. Maybe Mustang wasn’t as much of a bastard as Ed made him out to be. A small moan broke Edward out of his reverie.

Mustang sat, eyes tightly shut, looking slightly green. Ed felt slightly sympathetic, recalling previous illnesses. The colonel had to be feeling like shit. He found himself kneeling by the colonel, rubbing small circles on his back in a small attempt at comfort. When he finally felt the colonel relax into his touch, Ed helped him up, onto the bed.

“Rest now, Colonel.” There was a faint nod, before Mustang’s breathing evened out and Ed was sure he had fallen asleep. A small frown remained on his face. Mustang had looked so helpless in that moment. He wasn’t supposed to be helpless, dammit. He was the Hero of Ishval. He was supposed to be invulnerable. But what Ed saw in that moment wasn’t invulnerability. In that moment, the colonel was human. And that was what scared Ed. 

Picking up the wet cloth that had fallen, Ed limped over to the basin. He dipped the cloth in the cool water, listening to Mustang’s even breathing. The colonel didn’t sound overly congested. That was good. If they were lucky, the fever would break on its own.

His stomach growled, interrupting his brooding. The last time he’d eaten was on the way here, more than twelve hours ago. _Goddammit._ He refused to starve to death. He had a promise to fulfill, after all. He had to give Al his body back. He silently cursed their situation yet again. They had to get out of here, fast.


	2. Poorly Thought Out Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I said, no. Or is old age getting to you already?” Ed took another small slow step, ignoring the excruciating pain shooting up his leg. “I can fucking walk. I’m fine.”
> 
> The colonel gave him an unimpressed look. “Okay, Fullmetal. Here’s how it’s going to be. I will help you to our room. And you will go, either willingly, or unwillingly. Pick.”
> 
> Or, Ed makes the very bad life decision to go traipsing all over an inn while injured, and Roy is worried.

When Mustang awoke, the rain had slowed to a drizzle. His head was still pounding, but it was slightly less painful than the day before. He looked down to see Fullmetal sleeping on the floor by the bed. He smiled. The kid looked so peaceful when he was sleeping. Nothing like how he was when he was awake. Hell, when the kid was asleep, you could hardly tell that he was such an impulsive, reckless, short-tempered monster. Mustang snorted as he imagined Ed’s reaction if he said that aloud. It would probably be something along the lines of, “WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT YOU COULD SQUISH ME LIKE A BUG AND NOT NOTICE?” 

Mustang smiled. Sometimes, it was hard to remember that Fullmetal was just a kid. Small moments like these reminded him just how young Fullmetal was. A yawn below him told him that Fullmetal was awake. 

“How are you feeling?” Ed asked, blinking sleepily.

“Mild headache, but otherwise, fine.” Mustang made a move, as if to rise, wincing sharply as the headache doubled in intensity.

“Fine?” Ed raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think so. You’re staying there for now. I’m going to search this inn for food.” He received a nod in acknowledgement. Ed pushed himself up, grabbing the crutch.

_Wait, what? A crutch?_ “Fullmetal, are you injured?” Mustang asked, frowning.

“It’s nothing,” Ed replied, shortly.

“ _Fullmetal._ I want a list of all injuries you have now! That is an order.”

“Okay, okay,” Ed rolled his eyes. “Ikindamaybegotshotintheleg.”

“What?”

“I might have gotten shot. In the leg.”

“AND YOU’RE PLANNING ON WALKING ALL OVER THIS GIANT INN ON A BUSTED LEG?”

“I took care of it.”

“You are unable to walk without a crutch.”

“Well, Colonel, you can’t walk at all. I, on the other hand, can. Do the fucking math.”

“Goddammit. Fine. If you’re not back in an hour, I’m coming.”

“Fine”  


* * *

  
Ed was beginning to regret his decision to look for food. Who knew such a small looking building could hold so many rooms? He had just finished looking through room 47. Or was it 48? Honestly, he didn’t even care anymore. His leg was throbbing, he was so hungry, and he had found absolutely nothing to eat. Deciding to call it quits, Ed began to hobble back to where Mustang was.

_God,_ his leg hurt. Each step caused a hot wave of agony to ripple through him. Leaning against the wall, he closed his eyes. _Just a bit further. Breathe. It’s just a little pain. You’ve been through worse. You’ll survive._ He took a few deep breaths, trying to steady himself. Slowly straightening, Ed took a tentative step forward. He felt himself fall, as his leg buckled under him. His mind was a flurry of pain, as his knee hit the ground. He didn’t know how long he just sat there. Seconds, minutes, hours, time might have stopped altogether, and he wouldn’t have been aware in his pain filled daze.

Gradually, his harsh breathing slowed. Taking a moment to gather himself, Ed grabbed his crutch and pushed himself up. Taking care to place as little weight as possible on the injured leg, Ed slowly took a step. His eyes watered. Ed took another small, slow step. He was breathing hard by this point. Another step. He stopped to catch his breath.

Suddenly, he felt arms surrounding him. Ed writhed in their strong grip, purely on instinct. That is, until he heard the voice. Mustang’s voice spoke softly. “Calm down, Fullmetal. It’s just me.”

“Colonel bastard? What are you doing out of bed?” Ed asked weakly. “Get back in bed.”

“I told you I’d look for you if an hour had passed. That was part of our agreement.”

“Well, you found me. Now get back in bed.”

“You’re obviously not going to make it to the room on your own. Let me help you.”

“No.”

“What?”

“I said, no. Or is old age getting to you already?” Ed took another small slow step, ignoring the excruciating pain shooting up his leg. “I can fucking walk. I’m fine.”

The colonel gave him an unimpressed look. “Okay, Fullmetal. Here’s how it’s going to be. I will help you to our room. And you will go, either willingly, or unwillingly. Pick.”

“You’re not going to help me at al-” Ed felt himself being picked up, surprisingly gently. He struggled weakly, but only to keep up appearances. He’d never admit it, but the colonel was right. There was no way he would have made it back to the room in the state he was in. 

  


* * *

Mustang POV:

When Fullmetal didn’t return for an hour, Mustang began to get worried. If an hour was agreed upon, there was no way Fullmetal wouldn’t return in the hour, unless he was unable to do so. A dozen scenarios played in his head, most of which ended up with Fullmetal bleeding to death in some corridor in this building. That was it. Mustang slowly sat up, taking a moment to wait for the dizziness to pass.

He stood carefully, and unsteadily walked to the door. Leaning on the wall for support, Mustang shuffled forward. Now, where was Fullmetal? He turned down the hallway, searching for the trademark read cloak. A flash of red caught his attention. Ah. There he was. Sitting on the floor, eyes screwed shut in pain, was Fullmetal. Mustang watched as he got up, taking slow, measured steps, harsh breathing standing out in the silent hall.

Fullmetal paused, breathing hard, and, without thinking, Mustang found himself wrapping his arms around Fullmetal, supporting his weight. Fullmetal writhed in his arms, presumably to get out of his grip.

“Calm down, Fullmetal. It’s just me.” Mustang’s voice was surprisingly soft.

“Colonel bastard? What are you doing out of bed?” Fullmetal asked weakly. “Get back in bed.”

“I told you I’d look for you if an hour had passed. That was part of our agreement.”

“Well, you found me. Now get back in bed.” _Did Fullmetal really think that I could leave him there in that state?_

“You’re obviously not going to make it to the room on your own. Let me help you.” Let me help you? Where did that line come from?

“No.” 

“What?” Mustang didn’t know what he’d expected as an answer, but no wasn’t it. Actually, in hindsight, he should have expected that answer. He knew that Fullmetal hated to both ask for and accept help. _The prideful idiot_.

“I said, no. Or is old age getting to you already?” Fullmetal took another small, slow step. “I can fucking walk. I’m fine.” _Did Fullmetal think that I can’t tell the amount of pain he’s in? There’s no way in hell that he’ll be able to make it to the room from here._

“Okay, Fullmetal. Here’s how it’s going to be. I will help you to our room. And you will go, either willingly, or unwillingly. Pick.”

“You’re not going to help me at al-” Unwillingly it is, then. Mustang gently lifted Fullmetal. He felt Fullmetal struggle slightly. He could tell that at this point, Fullmetal wasn’t even trying to get out of his arms. It was more to keep up appearance than anything else. Mustang smiled, as he stepped forward. _Prideful idiot._ The smile quickly turned into a grimace, as he realized how poorly thought out his plan was.

Despite his small size, Fullmetal weighed a lot, probably due to the fact that two of his limbs were automail, and, despite what Mustang might have claimed, he was not, in any way, recovered.

Stumbling dizzily all the way back to the room, with an injured subordinate in his arms, did not seem like a good idea.

Unfortunately, it was the only one Mustang could think of at the moment. _One step. One foot, in front of the other. Another step. Next foot in front of the other. Deep breath. Wait for the world to stop spinning._

"Colonel, I think you should stop and rest for a bit," Ed spoke, extremely conscious of the colonel's alarming swaying.

"Stop? I'm fine, Fullmetal. I'm not the one who walked all over this huge inn, whilst injured." Fullmetal ignored the not-so-subtle jab.

"You are most assuredly not fine. In fact, judging by the swaying, I'm surprised you haven't dropped me yet." The colonel was silent. "Colonel?" Ed glanced upward.

"Fine. I'll sit down a moment. We can check on your leg while then, too."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

Mustang rolled his eyes, and carefully lowered himself to the ground. He set Fullmetal down in front of him and began to gently peel away layers of bandages.

He lightly touched the skin around the wound, feeling for abnormal heat. It didn't look infected, but they would still need to keep an eye on it. A thought occurred to him.

"Fullmetal, where did you get the bandages?"

"First aid kit. But we're out now." Honestly, considering how his luck was, Mustang shouldn't have been surprised.

"Can you transmute some?"

"Maybe. Do we have some sterile cloth?"

"What do you think?" That might have come out harsher than intended, Mustang thought belatedly. Fullmetal didn't seem to have been affected, however.

"Are your gloves dry?"

Mustang hesitantly nodded.

"Ok. I can sterilize some cloth, once we get back to the room. How are you feeling?"

Thrown by the sudden change in topic, it took him a moment to respond. "Fine." Other than the splitting headache and disorientation, he was fine.

Fullmetal touched his forehead, eyebrows crinkling in concern. "You're not fine. How the hell were you carrying me? Actually, how the hell are you walking around in the first place?" Fullmetal struggled to his feet, frowning. Mustang shouldn't have been out here in the first place. His fever's gotten worse.

"Don't hurt yourself, Fullmetal." Ed waved his hand dismissively.

"I'll be fine. I'm more worried about you. You should be in bed right now." _Worried?_ Ed helped Mustang to his feet and leaned against the wall, breathing hard.

"Fullmetal, you're going to aggravate your wound further this way."

"You look like you're about to fall over. I don't see much other choice." Ed wrapped his arm around the colonel, supporting him.

Ed shuffled forward, pulling Mustang along with him. Pain flared up, every time he took a step, but he didn't have time to stop and rest. _Ignore the pain_ , he told himself. _Ignore the pain. It's just a little pain. You can endure a little pain. A teeny tiny bullet wound's nothing compared to automail surgery. C'mon. Keep walking. Ignore the pain. Ignore the pain. Ignore the pain. Ignore the-_ Ed gasped as he stumbled. White hot shards of agony invaded his consciousness. _Ignorethepainignorethepainignorethepain_. A small moan escaped his lips.

"Fullmetal? Are you okay?"

Ed took a deep breath. _Ignore the pain_. "Y-yeah. Just p-peachy."

"We should rest."

"I'm f-fine."

"That wasn't a request." Ed rolled his eyes, but paused all the same, limping towards the wall for support.

Ed leaned against the wall, collecting himself. His arm was still wrapped around the colonel, but even if it wasn't, it would've been obvious that Mustang was shivering. _He's getting worse_. "Colonel?"  
"Hmm?"

"Are you cold?"

"…no"

"You're lying." Ed placed his red jacket over Mustang's shoulders. Reaching up, Ed brushed his fingers against Mustang's forehead. Hot. Burning hot. Ed's grip on the colonel tightened.

Pushing himself off the wall, he hobbled forward. "We're close to the room now."

_One step at a time. One step. Just one step. You can do one step. Now another step. Then another. Push through the pain. Ignore the pain. There are people relying on you. Don't let them down. Push through the pain. Don't let them down. Ignore the pain. Don't let them down. But that's all you do isn't it? Let people down? Like Al. Your mother. You let everyone down._ "-llmetal. Fullmetal."

"Wh-Yeah?"

The colonel gestured forward. "We're here."

"Oh. Um. Uh. Ok. Uh, let me just..." Ed trailed off, fumbling with the doorknob. He opened the door and hobbled inside. Ed smirked. "Room sweet room." Mustang smiled, faintly. The smirk faded, replaced with concern. "Let's get you in bed." Heavily favoring his automail leg, Ed limped forward, keeping a firm grip on the colonel.

"Fullmetal, I don't need your help to get into bed." Ed raised an eyebrow. That was a lie and they both knew it.

"Whether you need it or not, it's still happening." Mustang glared, but nodded; the effect ruined by his slightly glazed eyes. Ed glared right back, supported Mustang as he into bed, with a lot of glaring and huffing on Mustang's part. Dipping the previously discarded cloth into the water, Ed draped it over

Mustang's damp forehead. Mustang leaned into the cool touch, almost moaning when it was pulled away to wring out and dip again.

"Colonel, you know you don't have to pretend you're fine all the time, right?”

Mustang sighed. "Neither do you, Fullmetal. Neither do you." There was a pause.

"What are you talking about? I am fine."

"You just went traipsing all over this inn, even though you were injured. You still haven't made the slightest attempt to redress your wound. You refuse to admit that it hurts, although it was obviously killing you earlier. You refused my help to walk, even when you were unable to, yourself. Need I go on?" Ed didn't respond for a long moment.

"Who are you and what have you done to Colonel Bastard?" Ed joked, smirking. "But seriously. You don't need to worry about me. You just focus on getting better. _So we can get out of this goddamn place where it never stops fucking raining._ " The last part was muttered under his breath, but the colonel heard anyways. Rolling his eyes, he chuckled, wincing when it turned into a painful-sounding coughing fit. Ed frowned in concern, rubbing soothing circles onto the older man's back. "Shhh. Shhh. It's okay. Just relax. Just rest for now."

The coughing fit subsided and Mustang laid down, wearily, eyes drifting shut. Ed looked down in surprise as he saw Mustang fall asleep in his lap. Snorting softly, Ed shifted, placing a pillow under the colonel's head. He stood, wincing. First things first. He had to redress his leg and to do that, he needed sterile bandages. Ed grinned. _Time to start a fire._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review. All reviews are very much appreciated. If you notice anything that you think could be written better, typos, or grammatical mistakes, please don't hesitate to point them out. Thanks for reading!


	3. Of Broken Masks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _That’s all you do, isn’t it? Let people down?_
> 
> _“Why didn’t you save me, Edward?” Like your mother._
> 
> _“Can we play now?” Like Nina._
> 
> _“Brother, I don’t think this is a good idea.” Al had tried to warn him. Tried to convince him. Told him it was a bad idea. And it was Al that had paid the most._
> 
> _That’s all you do, isn’t it? Let other people down?_
> 
> No, he made up his mind. He wasn’t going to let Mustang down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for my lack of medical and psychological knowledge. All of the medical details I have included in this chapter were all found through Google and Wikipedia. I am not in any way claiming to be medically knowledgeable about these topics. Please ask a medical professional for medical advice. If you notice things that are inaccurate or completely wrong, please inform me and I’ll do my best to fix it.

_Time to start a fire._

The colonel’s gloves were made of ignition cloth, so making a spark without messing with the arrays would be easy. Now, all Ed had to do was get some fuel. He quickly gathered all the flammable materials he could find. Soon, a small pile of cloth, paper, and twigs appeared at the center of the room. After some searching, Ed found some scrap metal. Transmuting that into a crude sort of pot was easy. He poured a small amount of water inside and wrapped the handle with cloth, to protect his hands from the heat and set the pot above the pile of flammable materials, on a transmuted earthen stand.

He stripped a nearby bed of its sheets, washing them in the rainwater to get rid of any dirt. Wringing them out, he spread them back out on the bed and dried off his hands. Time to ignite the fire. He slipped on one of Mustang’s gloves, automail lightly snagging the rough material. Holding his hand close to the flammable pile, he snapped. A small spark formed, quickly winking out of existence. He snapped again. This time, the paper caught the spark, quickly burning and setting the rest of the fuel on fire.

The gloves’ only purpose accomplished, Ed quickly tugged them off, carefully setting them aside. As he waited for the water to boil, Ed watched Mustang. The heavy, even breathing indicated that he was still asleep. There appeared to be slight congestion, but as long as it didn’t get worse, they should be fine. He felt a small pang of guilt. Wasn’t it his fault Mustang was worse? If he hadn’t been so weak, the colonel wouldn’t have had to look for him in the first place. It was just a little pain. He should’ve been able to fight through it, to ignore it. The sound of water boiling broke him out of his thoughts.

Lifting the pot, he carried it over to the bed where he had laid the wet sheets. He ran the bottom of the pot, still very hot, over the wet cotton, watching steam curling up from the edges. When he was done, the sheet was dry, warm, and, if not sterile, a whole lot cleaner than before. Transmuting the large sheet into a more manageable shape, he got to work. Ed quickly wrapped the bandage around the tender wound, gritting his teeth at the sudden spike in pain. He finished bandaging his leg with a final loop and grabbed the edge of the bed to pull himself into a standing position.

He transmuted himself another crutch. He’d dropped his old one in the hallway, and he wasn’t going back to pick it up. He limped towards the colonel and lifted the damp cloth off of Mustang’s forehead. Placing a hand on Mustang’s forehead, Ed sighed. It didn’t feel worse, but it definitely wasn’t better. Fan-fucking-tastic. As if to remind him of how fucked their situation was, Ed’s stomach chose that moment to growl. Ed grimaced. With his automail and injury, it wouldn’t take long for him to starve to death. Well, worst case scenario, they could eat their boots. Leather goods were edible, right?

Groaning, he sat down. Deciding to just ignore the pressing food concerns, Ed dipped the cloth into the cool water and replaced it on the colonel’s forehead. Ed slowly sat at the foot of the bed, stifling a yawn. He knew that he should probably go to sleep, but he didn’t want to face the constant nightmares. Besides, Mustang had a dangerously high fever. Ed shouldn’t leave him unattended. Standing abruptly, Ed touched the cloth that lay on Mustang’s forehead, dismayed to find it warm already. He’s getting worse. He dipped the cloth in the water, eyebrows creasing in concern as he gently draped the wet cloth over the colonel’s sweaty brow.

His leg twinged, reminding him not to stay on his feet for too long. It was dark, and Ed could still hear the sound of heavy rain. Another spike of pain drove through his leg as lightning flashed. His eyes widened. He could almost see the transmutation circle chalked onto the floor. 

Ed swallowed hard. This was not _That Night_ , he reminded himself. This was not That Night. The only similarity with _That Night_ was the rain. And the darkness. And the lightning. And the pain. That was _all_. This was _not That Night_. It wasn’t. It wasn’t. It wasn’t. There was a flash of lightning. Ed flinched.

_“This is what you wanted, isn’t it? I will show you…the Truth!” Ed screamed, struggling against the black hands that pulled him inside the gate._

_“No. NO! PLEASE!” He clutched his head, as information forced itself inside. “PLEASE! STOP! STOP! I DIDN’T WANT THIS! I-I DIDN’T!”_

_“That is all you can see for the price you have paid.”_

_“The-The price?” A spike of pain drove through his leg and his left leg disappeared. Ed screamed._

_“M-Mom?” The monstrous creature lay on the floor, bloody hand raised slightly. A flash of lightning._

_“Edward. Why didn’t you save me?”_

_“Mom, no! Please! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I-I tried!” I’m sorry. I let you down. But that’s all I do, isn’t it? Let people down. The failed transmutation shuddered, and the hand went limp. Ed’s eyes widened. No. NO! He-He’d killed mom. And he’d fucked up and now mom was dead again and Al was gone and what kind of an older brother was he and- “Give him back!” Ed’s voice was raw. “Take my arm, my leg...take my heart! Take anything you want—you can have it! Give him back! He’s my little brother. He-He’s all I have left!” There was a piercing pain in his shoulder and Ed screamed._

_“-llmetal.” Ed blinked as he heard Colonel Bastard’s voice. What was he doing here? “Fullmetal, you’re having a flashback. This is a flashback. It’s not real.”_

_“It’s not…real?”_

_“No. It’s not. Can you look around the room for me? Tell me what you see.” His voice was surprisingly soft._

_“There-There’s a bed. And a pile of sheets. And bandages. And there’s a bowl of water. And-_ And you’re in front of me.”

Mustang was sitting up in front of him. There was no human transmutation circle. No monstrous corpse. No gate. No Truth. Oh. That’s right. It wasn’t _That Night_. It was just a flashback. It wasn’t real.

“Calm down, Fullmetal. It’s okay. You’re okay. Deep breath in.” Ed took a small, shaky breath in. “Deep breath out.” Ed exhaled softly. “Deep breath in. Deep breath out. That’s it. That’s it. Deep breaths.” Gradually, he felt himself calm slightly, although still shaken. He pasted a small smile on his face and spoke, in what he hoped was a bright voice.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” Ed said, reaching over to touch Mustang’s forehead. He frowned. “You seem a little warmer. How are you feeling?” Mustang blinked, seeming to be at a loss for words.

“Ed, I should be the one asking you that. You were screaming.”

Ed made a dismissive noise. “I’m fine.”

“Ed.” Mustang’s voice was surprisingly soft.

“I’m fine.”

“Ed, please.”

“I’m absolutely fine.” 

Mustang sighed, wincing, the action having triggered a painful coughing fit. Ed reacted quickly, moving beside him to rub circles on the older man’s back. He bit his lip guiltily. It was his fault Mustang was awake now. It was his fault Mustang wasn’t getting enough rest. He’d woken him up. Because he was too weak to get over something that happened years ago. It was his fault. It was all his fault.

_That’s all you do, isn’t it? Let people down?_

_“Why didn’t you save me, Edward?” Like your mother._

_“Can we play now?” Like Nina._

_“Brother, I don’t think this is a good idea.” Al had tried to warn him. Tried to convince him. Told him it was a bad idea. And it was Al that had paid the most._

_That’s all you do, isn’t it? Let other people down?_

No, he made up his mind. He wasn’t going to let Mustang down. He wouldn’t be weak. Mustang’s coughing had subsided, and he slowly lay down. Ed shifted. “You don’t worry about me, okay? You just focus on getting better.”

“Ed, I meant what I said earlier. You don’t have to be so strong all the time.” 

“And I meant what I said earlier. I. Am. Fine.” _You’re wrong,_ Ed thought. _He did have to be strong all the time. So that he didn’t let anyone else down._ Ed stood, biting the inside of his lip to stop the gasp of pain.

“Ed.” Ed turned. “You and I both know you’re not fine. That was a flashback. You were remembering _That Night_ , right?” Ed swallowed, his throat suddenly dry.

“So, what if I was?” The defiant words came out shaky. Mustang ignored the question.

“Talking does help, Ed”

“How the hell would you know?” Ed regretted the words as soon as they came out. He’d seen the shaken look in Mustang’s eyes when Ishval was referenced. He’d noticed the ever-present shadow of guilt in his eyes. If anything, Mustang was the only one who would know. “I-I’m sorry. I just-I”

“It’s fine, Ed.”

Ed took a deep breath, steadying his nerves. When he finally spoke, his voice was flat, devoid of emotion. “You were right,” Ed swallowed “about the flashback. It was about _That Night_. It was-It was raining _Then_ too. And it was dark. And there was lightning…” 

_“Why didn’t you save me, Edward?”_

_“Brother!”_

_“Can we play now?”_

_That’s all you do, isn’t it? Let other people down?_

_“Fullmetal._ Snap out of it.” Ed’s head snapped up.

Ed cleared his throat, speaking in a falsely chipper voice, “I’m fine now. You should go back to sleep.”  
  


* * *

_Mustang POV_ :

Mustang started awake, trying to pinpoint what had awoken him. A scream echoed through the room and Mustang sat bolt upright, instinctively searching out his gloves. He grimaced at the wave of vertigo, pausing when he caught sight of Fullmetal. His eyes were wide, gasping breaths coming short and harsh.

“Give him back!” Ed’s voice was raw. “Take my arm, my leg...take my heart! Take anything you want—you can have it! Give him back! He’s my little brother. He-He’s all I have left!” Mustang’s eyebrows crinkled in concern. He recognized the signs all too well. 

“Fullmetal.” Ed blinked. _Good. He heard me._ “Fullmetal, you’re having a flashback. This is a flashback. It’s not real.” Mustang knew this dialogue. He’d been on the other end of this conversation so many times. _“Roy, you’re having a flashback. This isn’t real.”_

“It’s not…real?” Ed sounded so unsure, so _broken_. Mustang felt his heart break. _“M-Maes? It-It’s not..real?”_

“No. It’s not. Can you look around the room for me? Tell me what you see.” _“No. It’s not, Roy. Can you tell me five things you see?”_

“There-There’s a bed. And a pile of sheets. And bandages. And there’s a bowl of water. And-And you’re in front of me.” Ed’s shoulders rose and fell erratically with shallow breaths. _“Th-There’s a table. A-And a chair. And-And a stack of books. The-The candle. An-And you.”_

“Calm down, Fullmetal. It’s okay.” _“Calm down, Roy. It’s okay. You’re okay. Deep breaths. Deep breaths, Roy.”_

“You’re okay. Deep breath in.” Ed took a small, shaky breath in. “Deep breath out.” Ed exhaled. “Deep breath in.” Another shaky inhale. “Deep breath out.” A slightly steadier exhale. “That’s it. That’s it. Deep breaths.” He felt Ed start to relax slightly. Ed turned to him, pasting a blatantly fake smile on his face.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” Ed said, reaching over to touch Mustang’s forehead. He frowned. “You seem a little warmer. How are you feeling?” _He has to be falling apart right now, and yet, he’s more worried about me than himself._

“Ed, I should be the one asking you that. You were screaming.” 

Ed made a dismissive noise. “I’m fine.” _Do you think I can’t tell how much you’re hurting? Do you think I don’t know how painful flashbacks are?_

“ _Ed._ ”

“I’m fine.” _You’re anything but._

“Ed, _please._ ”

“I’m absolutely fine.” Mustang sighed, triggering a painful coughing fit. His lungs burned. He felt Ed rub circles on his back, and he leaned into the soothing touch. Slowly, the coughing subsided, and Mustang lay down, wearily.

Ed shifted. “You don’t worry about me, okay? You just focus on getting better.” _Ed, please. Don’t block me out. Don’t-Don’t do this when you’re so clearly shaken._

“Ed, I meant what I said earlier. You don’t have to be so strong all the time.” 

“And I meant what I said earlier. I. Am. Fine.” _You aren’t, Ed, and you know it._

“Ed.” Ed turned. “You and I both know you’re not fine. That was a flashback. You were remembering _That Night_ , right?” Mustang saw Ed swallow, and he knew he was right.

“So, what if I was?” Ed’s quiet voice shook. 

“Talking does help, Ed.”

“How the hell would _you_ know?” Mustang closed his eyes. He did know. He knew how shaken each flashback left him. He knew how painful it was to relive the war. To see all the blood. _So much blood. So much death_. To see flames devouring the peaceful land. _I killed them. I KILLED THEM ALL_. Ed’s voice broke him out of his thoughts. “I-I’m sorry. I just-I” Mustang’s face softened.

“It’s fine, Ed.”

Ed took a deep breath and Mustang could see him collecting himself. When Ed finally spoke, his voice was flat, devoid of emotion. “You were right about the flashback.” Mustang’s eyebrows raised in surprise. _How badly had the flashback shaken him, if he was talking already?_

“It was about _That Night._ It was-It was raining _Then_ too. And it was dark. And there was lightning…” Ed trailed off and his eyes unfocused. Mustang heard his breathing start to speed. _He’s going to hyperventilate._

“ _Fullmetal._ Snap out of it.” Ed’s head snapped up, as if surprised that he was here. 

And then, in just as false a voice as his previous smile, Ed spoke. “I’m fine now. You should go back to sleep.”

“As should you.” For a moment there, Ed looked genuinely scared, before it was quickly covered up with a smirk.

“Who would take care of you, then?”

Mustang sighed. “Ed, go to sleep. You need your energy too. You’re injured. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you wincing every time you have to put weight on your leg.” Ed didn’t respond. “Ed, look. I’ll go to sleep when you go to sleep. If you want me to sleep, you have to go to sleep.”

“Fine,” Ed ground out. “But I’m sleeping next to your bed.” Without waiting for a response, Ed stood, hobbling over to the pile of sheets. He lay them on the floor and lay down on top of them, arms crossed, scowling. Almost instantly, Ed’s face started to relax, and his breathing evened out. It spoke volumes of how tired Ed was, that he fell asleep so quickly. Smiling softly down at Ed, Mustang lay down. 

“Goodnight, Ed.” 

And then, a whisper, so soft he almost didn’t hear it. “Goodnight, bastard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Please review. All feedback is highly appreciated. Thanks to everyone who reviewed last time!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. If you notice any mistakes, please feel free to point them out. Any and all feedback is appreciated.


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